Rumor has it the main attraction this Mardi Gras is an incredibly elaborate Spider-Man themed float that will “swing” around historic New Orleans. In support of the float, the Amazing Spider-Fans (who are everywhere these days) are out in droves this Fat Tuesday sporting red and blue beads.
Now comes the real question…can someone bring a Spidey-themed King Cake to The Daily Bugle offices?
Not content to just show off his latest sports car, young billionaire and future misanthrope, Harry Osborn was seen arm in arm with supermodel Valencia Vitaly at the closing ceremonies in Sochi. Osborn had reporters scrambling for an interview, but all questions went unanswered as he disappeared soon after the ceremony ended.
Harry’s Russian sojourn is just the latest in a long European adventure that’s included skydiving in Monaco, week long parties in Seville and impromptu street races in the narrow streets of Prague. Suffice it to say, Harry seems intent on spending his trust fund as fast and as dangerously as possible.
Rumor has it people inside Oscorp want Harry to stay as far away as possible, but as the health of his father is still uncertain, the rest of the world wants to know: what will it take to bring him home?
We asked our readers how they thought Spider-Man got his powers. You answered by email, text, blog, and even a brick through the window (please refrain from that in the future). Here’s what you had to say:
Flash T., Flushing
“He’s probably just a regular guy who got his powers by accident. Who cares? What really matters is what he’s doing with them now that he has them, right? Spidey’s keeping the streets clean and sticking up for everyday New Yorkers. He’s showing us we gotta stick up for ourselves, too. He saved us from the Lizard in our High School and no matter who he turns out to be, I’m always going to be on his side.”
Is Spider-Man an alien from another planet? Are his webs natural or supernatural? Your thoughts, your words, your paper! Submit here!
An Editorial from Daily Bugle publisher J. Jonah Jameson
Recently, Spider-Man got involved in the apprehension of a carjacker. The web he spun blocking the thief’s path on East 61st Street forced the driver to divert to First Avenue. While driving in the wrong direction, the carjacker hit four cars, one of which crashed through the front of a coffee shop…one of those places that serves that stupid latte art Melissa Hutchins loves so much. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but police estimate over four hundred thousand in damages were incurred.
Of course, civilians applauded as the wall-crawling vigilante pulled the thief out of his damaged car. Did any of them notice the damage left in Spider-Man’s wake?
Last December, Spider-Man pursued a bank robber named Herman Schultz who was using homemade weapons that emitted vibrational shock waves. Over two hundred photos of Schultz, hanging upside down from a twisted street light in a cocoon of webbing, were posted online. Including several with police officers (all of whom were reprimanded).
Did anyone consider that during Spider-Man’s prolonged pursuit and apprehension of Schultz, a city bus, a police car, two streetlights, a fire hydrant and twenty feet of sidewalk were destroyed? Estimated damage: $2.8 million dollars.
And who’s paying for Spider-Man’s actions? I am. You are. And every other taxpayer in this city. It’s clear Spider-Man’s results do not justify the reckless methods he employs. When is he going to finally realize this and just stop?
Within a week of the announcement that the NYPD and the District Attorney’s Office had opened an investigation into illegal activities and questionable medical practices at Manhattan’s Oscorp Industries, sources indicate several of their top scientists have been asked to leave.
Reports cite the recent forced resignation of Dr. Spencer Smythe, the Director of Robotics, amongst others. He was seen leaving Oscorp Tower yesterday with a box of his personal belongings.
When asked to comment on the current employment situation of Dr. Smythe, Oscorp spokesman Donald Menken had no comment. Later in the day, Oscorp sent out a press release congratulating Alistair Smythe on his promotion to the Director of Robotics formerly held by his father. How Mrs. Smythe expects this will impact holiday dinners remains unknown.
Has the District Attorney’s office opened an official investigation into potential criminal activity at Oscorp Industries? All involved have been denying but I’ve got a pretty sensitive…dishonesty detector.
An investigation is to be expected — The Lizard (Oscorp’s own Dr. Curt Connors) wreaked havoc on the city and killed a police hero. If my local video rental place did that, they’d go out of business! But perhaps that’s not a good example.
The DA and the NYPD seem to be (and ought to be!) collaborating on an in-depth investigation of every aspect of Oscorp’s operations.
Just because Oscorp has a few congressmen in their pockets doesn’t mean that they’re above the law. The truth will emerge; public safety comes first.