The Daily Bugle Newspaper
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March 11, 2014

By Ken Ellis

In a joint statement, the New York City Police Department and the Mayor’s office officially closed their investigation into gross and systematic ethics abuses at Oscorp Industries. Shockingly, the investigation resulted in no discovery of criminal mischief or charges filed, despite the indisputable fact that a lizard man rampaged through the city last year, causing millions of dollars in damage.

The closing of the investigation comes amidst rumors that Oscorp threatened to rescind the discounts they are providing the city for the completion of the new prototype power station.

The grand opening of the Oscorp Power Grid on the Lower East Side of Manhattan is planned for April 16. The grid is expected to provide renewable, clean electromagnetic energy to the city and reduce costs to consumers by forty percent.